New





This is new. To me anyway. I won this cutie Cabbage Patch doll at an auction. I had two Cabbage Patchers when they popular way back when, and when I see them for sale now, I get all nostalgic for them. Like I just have to buy another one, like two aren’t enough already. The cool thing is, this darling redhead is straight out of the 80’s. She’s from 1984, and she came with the real box and certificate and all that jazz. And here’s a little side story to go with her....

I was on my way home from the auction, and Kenny and I were driving separately, he in his truck, me in mine. I wasn’t too sure about the direction I was supposed to be going in, and we had been separated in traffic, so I was doing my best to navigate home by myself. I pulled up to a stop light, and because I was talking to my mom on the phone, I didn’t pay attention to the street name (I was supposed to turn left) so I went straight through the light and then did a U-ee in the middle of the street praying a cop wouldn’t see me. No one saw me do that. Whew. The light was red, so I stopped, checked to see if anyone was coming, then turned right. Just as I was gushing to my mom about the cute Cabbage Patch doll I now had, I see the blue and red lights in my rearview. I said a string of bad words, and told my mom I had to call her back ‘cause I thought I was getting pulled over. Turned out I was right. Dammit. I was pulled over NOT for the U-ee turn (he didn’t see that), instead for turning right on red when there was a sign that said NO TURN ON RED. Ooops, I told him, I’m not from around this city. All the while this is happening, the Cabbage Patch doll is sitting next to me in the front seat, out of the box already, like a passenger in the car. I always do this with new things....I have to look at them in the car after a purchase is made. Fun? Yes. Safe? No. But so necessary in this situation because I didn’t get a full blown ticket and I ALWAYS GET A TICKET A L W A Y S. Everyone else gets out of tickets from time to time. Not me. So he gave me some bullshit thing with no points...whew hew! I still had to pay up the wazoo, but I don’t care ‘cause there’s no issue with my insurance. My point of this long and drawn out story is that I think he saw the Cabbage Patch doll in the seat next to me and thought that I was an innocent girl who didn’t know her way around that city. Who else would have a Cabbage Patch in the front seat like that?