Day From H*&#

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........very long with lots of complaining.......

Monday was h#@* after 4pm. Work/school was great. I came home and went to pick up the puppy from our good friend who is puppy sitting during the day since Kenny is out of town for the week (the puppy is usually with him all day working). That was great. I went home and dropped her off after playing outside for about 30 minutes. I had a dentist appointment at 6pm so I changed and crated the puppy and was on my way. Always having had good teeth, only one cavity as a kid, 4 1/2 years of braces, I never ever stress about the dentist. This was a new dentist because the one I had been going to for the last 2 years was unorganized, always screwed up my insurance coverage, the story is a long one but I'll spare you the stupid details and just say that I was never happy going there. So I got to the new dentist office, filled out the paper work, got impressions for the bleaching that I get for free as a new patient (perfect timing for the wedding!!!!). Then the hygenist starts in with the cleaning. She notices one problem area, nothing too major...right? Wrong. The dentist comes in, and I ended up with FOUR LARGE CAVITIES. Did you read that??? I was DEVASTATED. I repeat, DEVASTATED. And in tears (but really, the tears are pretty constant around here lately). So this just confirms that I made the right choice by switching dentists because I had my teeth cleaned 8 months ago by the old dentist...how in the heck is it possible to have ZERO problems in my mouth 8 months ago and now I have 4 large cavities???? I asked the new dentist this, and she very kindly (without ripping on my old dentist) said that some dentists wait until the cavity is of a larger size to fill. WHY????? I am so thankful that I switched dentists. But that's not the end of the story. My four front top teeth were built up after my braces came off 14 years ago because they were small. So my real teeth are there, but made larger. Well those veneers only last about 10 years and then need to be replaced because of decay (not a cavity decay, but just tooth decay in general). It's time to replace them NOW. And because that is cosmetic, it will cost. My new dentist is going to get the insurance company to pay for half of the veneers, so at least it won't be too much, but it will still be enough. Plus the copay for the cavities, which isn't too much either, but times four it sure adds up. Can you see why I'm stressed?? I have never EVER had issues with my teeth like this, and now it's all at once. I am so embarrassed about having 4 cavities. I'm so good about not eating candy much because I'm always trying to lose weight, and I brush my teeth twice a day. When you look at my teeth, they are pretty. I've always been so proud of my teeth. Hmph. So I leave the dentist's office in shock and in tears. I'm getting the cavities filled (I can't even believe I am saying that) on Monday, the first day of my spring break, and because there are 4 big ones, I'll be knocked out. What a nice way to spend the first day of vacation. Why couldn't it happen when I could take a day or two from school??? Hmph. Anyway, the rest of the veneer stuff will be in a couple weeks. The dentist wants to do it before my wedding, which is nice, but really, you can't see any of the issues from the front of my teeth, so it's not going to make any difference. The bottom line is the cavities need to be filled and the veneers need to be replaced, and it just is something that I have to suck it up and pay for. Ugh.

So I leave the dentist's office. Pulling into the driveway I am thinking THANK GOD I am home and I am going to relax now. It's 830pm and I'm exhausted. I walk into the house and smell poop. The smell is so overwhelming that I gag in my mouth. I go into the spare bedroom where Puppy is in her crate and there is diarrhea everywhere. It's in the crate, on the puppy, on the walls behind the crate, on the closet doors, on my beautiful hardwoods, even on some clothes and pictures around the room. And the smell is HORRIBLE as you would guess. And the puppy is all excited to see me and making more of a mess. I threw up before I could even think of what to do. So after I threw up, I get the dog into the backyard and then get some rags and try to figure out how to clean the room and the crate without making more of a mess. Then I threw up a second time from the smell. I guess I'm going to be a lousy parent because I can't handle the smells. After 2 hours, I had it cleaned up. I won't go into details about that, but let's just say it was the worst thing I could have dealt with (aside from death) at the end of the day. I cried most of the way through the cleaning because of my teeth, the smell, the fact that I never wanted a puppy (I love her so much but she was ALL Kenny's idea), the fact that Kenny wasn't home and I hadn't talked to him all day, and just because I was plain tired.

I need a day off. I don't mean from work to stay home, I mean from LIFE. I want to just sit in a bookstore and read all day long, alone, with no one and nothing (including the dog) NEEDING anything from me. Teaching is so wearing because all day long I am needed. I give give give all day and then come home and give to the puppy and to Kenny (but I love that part) and give give give to the laundry and the house and EVERYTHING. Ugh. I can't even imagine if I had kiddos of my own, but I suppose that comes with the territory and I'll learn how to manage that. You moms out there have my total respect because I don't know how you go to work and then come home to the needs of others like that. I hope that I can find time on spring break to do this for myself, because I will go CRAZY if I don't. I also hope when I get home my house doesn't still smell like poop.