First Autumn Walk

It's been a rough few days to say the least. I dreaded going back to work every day that it drew closer, but I never imagined how hard it would be when it really happened. I'll spare you the teary details, but I'll just say that it's not fair. And yes, I know life isn't fair. But I can still feel this way. And that's that.

Yesterday was a GORGEOUS autumn day in Michigan, the kind that makes you think about the furnace but you're not quite ready for it. A nice fleece blanket will make it all better. The sun was shining, the air was chilly but smelled so good, like fall!! Ooooh! My favorite time of year. I bundled up the baby and we went for a 2 mile stroll. It was awesome, and here he is all warm and toasty in his stroller as I walked.

The Other Side

I'm going back to work on Monday. Not prepared mentally or physically (LONG days with 1st/2nd graders!!!) to work again not to mention facing the fact of not being with Carson all day. But the fact that I have to face is that I AM going to work and that's just all there is to it. So, who is going to be with my baby?? Grandma O, Grandma L, and we hired a nanny. She will be here 2 days a week for 6 hours.


I used to BE the nanny. When I was in high school I babysat for extra money and in college I did too. Then after I graduated I was a substitute teacher and a nanny for a while. I loved it. The baby I took care of was Carson's age right now, and it was the perfect job for me. Well now I'm on the other side of things, I'm HIRING the nanny. It's such a strange feeling, telling someone how to prepare bottles (she actually already knows because she is extremely experienced with kids/babies) but I told her anyway because it made me feel better! I'm super grateful that my mom and my MIL are also going to be watching Carson on other days when I'm at work and Kenny is downstairs in his office working. That's another thing that I'm thankful for...the fact that Kenny is going to be working at home while our moms and the nanny are here....We really have so much to be thankful for here, and I don't mean to sound whiney or bratty about going back to work. I don't mind working, I would just rather do it from home like my hubby or get to see my baby throughout the day. I would GLADLY trade places with Kenny if I could.

The whole time our nanny was here today listening to me ramble on and on about Carson's day and what his needs are, I know what she was thinking...she was silently rolling her eyes and not really listening to me, just pretending to. She already knows how to take care of babies (as I did at her age) and she could probably figure out where the extra diapers were (as I could have when I was a nanny) and so on. But now, I know why the mom I used to work for spent so much time telling me where things were and explaining baby-related things to me: because she didn't want to leave her baby and go to work and it was her way of keeping one foot in the door when she wasn't there with her baby. It's like this...if I give her instructions, then things will probably get done the way I do them with Carson (and if they don't, no bog deal, but at least let me think they are so I don't feel left out of his happenings every day) and I'll still feel like I'm part of his life when I'm not there.

I know that I'm his momma and that no one can take that away from me. I know that I'm one of millions of moms that has to work outside the house. All this I know. It doesn't change the fact that come Monday morning, when I kiss his cheeks goodbye as he sleeps in his crib, it might just be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And there is nothing in any baby book that prepares me for being on the other side.

11 Weeks

We've been busy. I have probably said it before, but I think I have tendencies to be more busy when I'm not going to work every day versus when I am working. And speaking of work, I go back in a week. Not happy about it. Not sleeping over it. Just not taking it well in general, and that's all I say about it.

Carson is 11 weeks old today! Happy 11 weeks baby! What a joy these 11 weeks have been. Crazy to think how something so little brings so much happiness to your life. Not that we had a shortage before he was born, but he just makes everything that much sweeter.

I spent about 8 hours away from Carson on Saturday working with Kenny and that was the longest I've been away from him. It was hard to concentrate at times, and the 50 minute drive how was excruciating. Then I scooped him from my mom's arms and just loved on him. Working is going to suck:(

Kenny has been super busy with work lately, which is good because it will be an awesome winter because of it! Can you believe I started Christmas shopping? Nutty, eh? I guess it's not so crazy, it's almost October. Kenny and I said we wouldn't buy Carson toys for birthdays and Christmas because we're sure people will be buying those items all the time for him. So far, that's worked. I've bought tons of books, but no toys. Until last week. I was grocery shopping at wallyworld and just happened to "accidentally" stumble upon the Christmas toyland they have going there already. Ooops. I bought some bath toys and a leapfrog brand toy that teaches letter sounds. It's not "really" a toy because there's learning involved. Would you expect less than that from a teacher? Heh. I'll get him books too. And yes, I know he won't know what Christmas is and that he wouldn't even be able to open presents (probably, not really sure though!) so it's a waste, but these are things I would buy for him anyway, I'll just wrap them up and put them under the tree. I'm sure all you moms out there did the same thing on your baby's first Christmas!

Our dog has taken to the baby so well! She loves him, looks for him in the house, and then usually snipes a lick on his face before I can intercept her tongue. That's the only thing that I don't like about her with the baby, the licking! Ew! But guess if Carson doesn't cry, it's okay. I usually take a baby wipe to his face when the dog licks her, but in all honesty, those germs are just going to be there, so oh well. The dog is permanent fixture in this family! She's our "first" baby! I feel like I haven't given her enough attention on the blog lately, so here's some cute pics of her on the boat a couple weekends ago, with her favorite uncle, Al.

I'm off to pick up some things for my grandma, take a walk with the neighbor and our babies in strollers, and then tonight a family dinner to see my cousin who is here visiting. Fun! Have a great week! Here are a few more boat pics.....

S L E E P

I'm getting it. A lot of it. Not bragging, just saying, I'm sleeping over 8 hours a night. I don't know how long this phase will last but I'm not questioning it, just enjoying! Carson started sleeping through the night almost 2 weeks ago. I moved him from the bassinett to the crib and he stopped waking up for a nighttime bottle. Just like that. So he usually falls asleep between 730 and 9pm every night, and wakes up between 7 and 8am. I'm SO loving that!! He's 10 weeks old today (not even a newborn anymore.....OMG!!!) and I have no idea if sleeping through the night is normal for that age or not, but it's happening and I love it! When I start back to work, I hope the phase isn't really a phase, that it's the real thing. I'm assuming my sleep bubble will burst here at some point, but it's nice while it lasts!

Shots & Planners

We survived the two month shots! Carson is in the 70th percentile for height and weight, and he weighs 12 pounds and is 23 1/2 inches long. The pediatrician says he's the strongest baby she's ever seen and is very impressed that he's holding his head up and so active already. Yay! Here he is napping in the boppy, sleeping FINALLY after crying and crying until his tears ran dry after the shots....I gave him a little baby tylenol and it seemed to make him feel better. See his battle wounds?? The yellow bandaids....

I bought a planner today. A PLANNER. I have never really needed one, but seeing as though I am going back to work at the end of the month and Kenny is SUPER busy every single day and even on the weekends, plus appointments and everything else, I broke down and bought a planner. I work with Kenny on the weekends (along with my BFF) so keeping everything straight in my head hasn't been working lately. I forget so much. And Kenny took over my calendar....that's why I forgot to give the dog her heart worm pill....bad mommy! I just can't remember everything!

Here are a couple shots I took recently. I was playing around with the windows vista editing tools and here's what I came up with!

Bye Bye Summer

Summer is always over for teachers when we go back to work a week or so before the students. In my case this year, I'm not going back to work until the end of the month (maternity leave) so summer should technically still be happening for me. Even though I'm still home, it's over. Gone. Done. When we came back from the lake house last night, I felt it. I'm sad because it was a great summer, not in the "went on lots of vacations and relaxed" sense, but the fact that we had Carson and all this time with him has made it one of the best summers ever. He is just the best gift we could have ever received from God! Anyway, I'm thankful for the summer but sad that it's over. I'm sadly counting down the days until I'll have to go back to work. But I'm sure every working momma goes through that. If only it weren't needing that health insurance...but it's the way it has to be!

Carson is 2 months old! Here he is in all his baby glory. Just so cute!

We had our garage sale on Friday and Saturday and moved a TON of Kenny's stuff out. I mean A TON. I'm so proud of him for deciding to get rid of stuff. Even though I hate clutter and don't keep many things that I don't need, I NEVER harp on him or complain about his "stuff." It comes with the territory if you know what I mean and I knew what I was getting into when we bought our house. I had years to adjust to it before we got married, therefore, I never complain about his stuff, I just move it around or try to work around it when I need to. It's part of his job and that's just the way it is. One day, in the future, when we find our dream house, he will have a separate pole barn or garage or just an "out" building to call his own, and that will house all his stuff. But for now, I am just very proud of his attempt and uncluttering and throwing out. He feels like he didn't move much stuff out, but looking at it from my point of view with no attatchment to the stuff, he did an OUTSTANDING job! There is room to breath in the garage now! He kept saying that we needed to make room for the baby's toys for next summer, music to my ears! I am enjoying every single minute of this baby's babiness, but I am also excited thinking about Carson running around the backyard and playing next year. Oh the goosebumps! Love it! Back to the garage sale.....we made a good $750 and we're putting that towards a new digital camcorder. We have been using our digital cameras to take videos of Carson so far, and they have worked just fine, but we're on to bigger and better things now! If any of you have a digital camcorder or any advice about which ones to get or not get, pass it on!

Happy "Back to School" to any of you who are now back to teaching or learning this week!

Getting ready for a garage sale

SCARY is how my backyard is to be described right now. Kenny decided to "clean out the garage" on Sunday and he's still not done. Funny thing is, he started Sunday midday (I was against this from the start because he RARELY FINISHES ANYTHING) and when he "took a break" Sunday evening, he never finished. And yes, most of the crap in the backyard and driveway is going to be in the garage sale we're having this weekend, and if it doesn't sell, it's going to the curb, but I have had to look at this INSANE mess all week and it's anxiety causing, let me tell you. Our sale is starting Friday and I can't wait to get it all set up tomorrow and have it GONE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Keep your fingers crossed for me that Kenny will really allow things to be thrown out afterwards. I need this!

Today is day 4 on Phase 2 of Southbeach. I skipped Phase 1. It's just too hard to go from normal eating to Phase 1. So I am on Phase 2 which is basically carb free except for some crackers and fruit, which are good carbs. I need to jump start this weight loss or I'll get frustrated!!! I've also been walking with my neighbor who had a c-section 7 weeks before I did. She also had a boy, so we stroll with our babes feel the burn! I think we're up to over 2 miles, and it feels so great to be back to exercising. Today I went to the gym and did a modified version of my old routine. Treadmill for 30 minutes (used to be about 45) and several weight training machines, a couple on upper body and a couple on lower. I didn't do many reps on each, and I won't until I work up my endurance again. Although when I jogged today I lasted more than I thought possible. The true test will be how I feel tonight and in the morning. I decided to blog about getting back into shape and use it as motivation to keep going....if I don't write about it for a while, ask me about it so I have to answer to someone! I WANT and NEED to be held accountable. I lost 30 pounds doing Southbeach in 2006 and I've kept it off with exercise, and my goal is to lose another 30 pounds once I'm back to pre-baby weight. So that's the deal on eating/working out, I can't believe I wrote so much about it, now I HAVE to make it happen else!!

For two days now Carson has taken a nap in the morning, a longer nap in the afternoon, and fell asleep at 830pm on his own. He has always taken naps, but yesterday and today they were the same times each day, and that has never happened! So maybe he's starting to put himself on a schedule? He's 8 weeks old, and I've heard that by three months lots of babies are on some kind of self-made schedule. Maybe this is the beginning of that???

Some unrelated pictures....


About to cry in the bumbo......



Enjoying a bath!

Hangin' in the bumbo NOT crying....he looks sad but he really was happy, I promise!

Rainy Day

Saturday morning brought rain, and this is what was going on in our house....

Because it was rainy, we weighed our options and thought about where we would rather spend a rainy day....at home, or the lake house....so we went to the lake. Why stay home when the view at the lake is better, even with the rain?? So we went. And it was chilly, but a few hours there is always good to recharge. Here is one of the ONLY pictures of all three of us. I'm going to change that soon, and get some more pics of all of us....especially since Carson is smiling so often now!

While Kenny dinked around outside preparing to go fishing, Carson and I snuggled inside and he cooed away and I got some cute pictures of course! He's so animated and happy all the time so his personality is easy to capture. He's so loveable!

Work

My classroom is finally put together. I threw away SO MUCH stuff away and I had the mind set that less was better, and I think it's the best classroom setup I've ever done. This will be my 8th year of teaching and every year I don't change my room around too much, however this year, I just minimized. And it looks and feels great! I took Carson with me on Tuesday and struggled with accomplishing the setup, so Wednesday I left him with my MIL and went in for a full day and got it all done. I HATED leaving the baby in the morning but I know he was in good hands and I thought about him continuously for about 3 hours. And then I focused on work and all was good. His cute little face kept popping up in my head and I would count down the hours to go home and kiss his face. Before I knew it I was home and holding him! So I guess I survived a work day away from him, so when I do go back to work, I should be able to handle it. Boohoo:(

I have a DVR confession....the latest obsession I have and MUST watch on a daily basis.....

Little House on the Prairie!

This has been going on for about a month now. I get 2 new episodes a day to watch and I can't wait to sink into my chair every night and enjoy!

My new favorite picture:

Chili Recipe

The chili I made the other day R O C K E D !!!!!!!! I've never made chili before and Kenny said I hit a homerun the first time! Yay! The recipe I followed comes from The America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook....

Serves: 6 to 8
Advance Prep Time: 30 minutes
Slow Cooker Time: 6-7 hours on low, 4-5 hours on high

2 tablespoons
vegetable oil
2 onions, chopped medium
1 red bell pepper, stemmed, seeded, and chopped medium
1/4 cup chili powder
1 tablespoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Salt
6 garlic cloves (I used garlic powder instead)
2 pounds ground beef (85% lean) (I used 93% and it worked just fine)
1 can tomato puree (28 ounces)
1 can diced tomatoes (28 ounces)
2 cans red kidney beans (15.5 ounces)
Pepper

1. Heat oil over medium heat until shimmering. Add onions, bell pepper, chili powder, cumin, cayenne and salt. Cook for about 5 minutes until the vegetables are soft. Stir in garlic and cook for about 15 seconds.

2. Add the beef and increase the heat to medium high. Cook while breaking up the beef until no longer pink for about 10 minutes.

3. Stir in the tomato puree and diced tomatoes with their juice, scraping up any browned bits. Bring to a simmer, then pour into the slow cooker.

4. Cover and cook, on either low or high, until the meat is tender, 6 to 7 hours on low or 4-5 hours on high. Stir in the beans during the last hour of cooking. Before serving, season with salt and pepper to taste.

My tips.....we always use the 93/7 lean meat, and it worked just fine. I HATE garlic, which is why I refused to put chopped garlic in it and used a TEENY bit of garlic powder. I used the crock pot on high and it was ready in about 3 hours, obviously that will depend on your crock pot! One more thing, we didn't use cayenne pepper because I couldn't find it in the store, so we used regular pepper instead. I know cayenne is hotter than regular, and neither of us like hot stuff, but if you do, use the cayenne! It was seriously the BEST chili ever!!! Oh yeah, I took american cheese slices and layed on the top of the bowl of chili was it was still piping hot before we ate it and YUM YUM YUM!!!! Next time I will double the recipe so it lasts longer:)

Grrrr

Lori was right, I didn't get much done in my classroom yesterday. I had Carson with me and even though there were other people around occupying him, I still didn't get half of what I had expected to finish done. The other reason was because everything in my cupboards and shelves was pulled out and stacked all over the furniture in attempt to "clean" the shelves. Who does that???? I don't need my storage shelves cleaned!! They are completely covered so there's no place for dust or anything! That basically set me back a good 8 hours on top of the baby being with me. So next week instead of taking him with me both days, I'm leaving him with Grandma for one day so I can get that room back in shape. I purposely didn't take much down in June so I wouldn't have so much to do now and then my room gets ripped apart.....grrrrrr. Not happy!

I tried a new recipe for chili today in the crock pot. Let me correct myself, I TRIED A RECIPE. I can't say I tried a new one when I've never tried one before...ever! It's cooking as we speak, so we'll see how it turns out in about 4-6 hours. It was super easy except for the fact that as soon as I slice open the onion my eyes poured out tears and burned so badly I had to continue chopping onions on the patio, no joke, it was that bad. Other than that, we'll see how it turns out. If it's good, I'll post the recipe. That will make me feel like I've contributed to womanhood!

Now for the the important stuff, baby pictures:

6 Week Pictures

Oooooooohhhh I swear I'm more busy being home on maternity leave/summer vacation than I am during the school year. Sheesh. But I'm not complaining, busy is good!

Yesterday I took Carson for his 6 week pictures....our first professional pics other than our friend who took his newbie pics in the hospital. When I called to schedule his appointment, they told me to choose a time when he was sleeping so we could "mold" him for the pictures. So I chose 1pm since he usually sleeps all afternoon. Was he sleeping at that time when the camera started to roll? OF COURSE NOT! And he wasn't just happy baby boy like he usually is, he was pissy, like GIVE ME THAT BOTTLE NOW pissy. Ugh. The upside was that we got a couple shots of him smiling, okay, really only one good smiling shot, but still, it was worth it. Anyway, the here are some of my favorites. I'm already excited about the next photo shoot!

He was NOT having any of the naked shots.....guess he's a little self conscious!!

I'm actually going to work tomorrow. With Carson! Our professional development has already started, and tomorrow teachers get the whole day in their rooms. So I'm going to work in my room and hopefully get it all set up for the sub when the kids come back in September. Not sure how taking the baby with me to work is going to be, hopefully I will be able to get some things done while I'm there!!! Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Sunday is not a day of rest

Before I talk about my day, jump on over to Lori's blog and send her hugs and prayers for her fur baby....her dog is sick and elderly, and she's facing a tough choice and can use all the prayers she can get!!

Sundays are supposed to be a day of rest, right? Not so much around here. Kenny planned on working all day (yes, even in this blessed heat & humidity) and I was going to go through paperwork looking for a trailer title that Kenny misplaced OVER A YEAR AGO so we can sell it and get a new one, that was my motivation for finding it! Anyhoo, I ended up going over to one of my bestie's places to see her new house, and ended up taking a carload of stuff to her new home. All of a sudden it was 7pm! Ah! Time flies! Carson was a dream baby all day long as usual, and cooperated through the packing and visiting!

Tomorrow is the start of professional development at my school, this year there is THREE WEEKS OF PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. Why, you ask? I'm still wondering, I'm so irritated that it's three weeks long, as is all my coworkers. Anyway, I'm not going back to work until September 28th because I just had Carson, so on one hand I'm excited that I still have 6 weeks at home with my baby. On the other hand, beginning a school year and not being there leads to issues....I'm not even sure how many issues, but they will be there. I am going in for a few days next week for some new training so I won't be completely in the dark when I go back. It feels so strange knowing that for teachers, school starts tomorrow, and I won't be there. This is my 8th year of teaching, and I'm so programmed to that lifestyle....it just feels crazy. I am blessed and thankful for my job, and I LOVE teaching, however sometimes I wish I could stay home with my little man. I'm sure I'll be a mess when I have to go back in 6 weeks. Don't even want to think about that yet!

I've babbled on long enough tonight! Off to bed, temporarily....still getting up every 3 hours to feed the kid! I have to admit though, I love that time with him when the house is quiet and I hear Kenny and the dog softly snoring. There's something very sweet and rewarding about that. I'm sure I won't be so fond of it when I go back to work, but right now, any time spending holding my cute little chipmunk is awesome!

Smiley Sounds

These are some pretty cute sounds.....

My Baby Smiles!

He's been smiling for a while now, I just haven't caught it on film. Here he is!! He smiles a lot, especially if you talk in that high pitched voice. His mouth goes crazy smilin' so much!

Sunday we celebrated my dad and my cousin's birthday....Happy Birthday boys!! Here's another 4 generation shot and another pic of my grandma holding her great-grandson. We take these pictures every single chance we can get, they are precious!

Carson kept me up all night last night. He would eat, burp, sleep for an hour (not a full hour) and then be up again. Holy crap am I tired. Kenny had to get up to work this morning so I finally gave up trying to get the baby to sleep in the basinet and moved him to the swing in a move of desperation. It didn't work. I swaddled him, found the 40th binky that hadn't been shot out of his mouth, and laid him on the couch next to me. Just about the time the sun came up, he fell asleep. Me? Up for the day at that point. And let me tell you, I've done pretty good in the last 5 weeks on little sleep, but this morning? Not so good. I have the sleep deprived headache going on. Ugh. And my little guy is just bouncin' and cooin' away in his bouncy seat, oblivious to how sleepy I am!!! Any advice from you mommas about how to keep him sleeping longer? He eats 4 ounces during a feeding, and usually during the night it's every 2 hours, maybe once in a while I'll get 3 hours, but not lately. I'm sure it's par for the course, but if you have any thoughts, throw them my way!

Yesterday I spent some time with Tasha and her crew. They got to meet Carson and Alanna loved on him! Her baby, Ben, is now 1 and he is a cutie! I was impressed how happy he woke up from his nap. Tasha made BLT pizza for lunch, YUM! I know she put the recipe on her blog a while back, check it out if you have time cause it was scrumptious!

Off to try to catch some more sleep if it's possible while my cute little baldy baby isn't looking!

Check out Tasha's giveaway!

Time Flies!

Carson turned 1 month yesterday. Holy crap!

FINALLY

We finally made it to 8am. As is, having a bottle at 11am, 1am, 4am, 6am, and then not again until 8am. And there was sleep in between 6 and 8am, on BOTH our parts (me and Carson). I have been struggling with the lack of sleep (duh, baby=no sleep), however, what was driving me nuts the most was that this little dude likes his bottle at 6am, and then he's up for the day. Me? I'm on summer vacation/maternity leave here! I want to NOT start my day that early because that's the time I leave for work 10 months of the year. I realize the baby doesn't care, but I'm new to this mommy world and I'm still believing that I can train him for those extra couple of hours...is that true experienced mommies? Anyway, we finally got to 8am. Don't let me fool you, I'm still pooped and groggy, but the accomplishment of getting to that 8am hour is overwhelming! Like I crossed the finish line and won a medal. Will it last? Who knows. But it feels good this morning! I actually did something once we got up that I fantasized about doing before Carson was born. I made his bottle, made my coffee, and took the dog and we all went outside and sat on the patio to enjoy the morning. It's going to be humid today, I can already tell, but right now our backyard is shady, cool and there are plenty of pretty flowers to look at. I have wanted to do this every morning since he was born (except on the rainy days) and just didn't have the energy or didn't have coffee (that's another story). And today, we did it! And it's so enjoyable! Carson is in his bouncy seat on the patio, I'm sitting at the table blogging and drinking coffee (he already had his bottle!!) and the dog is happily chewing on my watering can. Things are good!

I thought I would address the bottle feeding thing, Lori asked me about it through email and I wanted to write about it anyway. We are exclusively bottle feeding because I didn't produce much breast milk. About 10 years ago I had a breast reduction due to back problems and I knew that it would be challenging at best to breast feed. While I was pregnant I leaked a little, so there was hope, but when I had Carson I pumped and pumped in the hospital and got a teeny tiny drop or two of colostrum (sp?) and then when I got home I pumped several times a day and MAYBE produced 1/8 of an ounce ina day. That, to me, was no where near enough milk to spend that much time pumping. So we continued on with formula and that's my bottle story. I really gave breast feeding a try, but I have known for a while that I probably wouldn't produce the milk, so it wasn't devastating, I just accepted it and he is doing fine on formula!

Here's a picture of the roses Kenny suprised me with on Sunday. They really are the most beautiful red roses I've ever seen. They are different, a deeper red and velvety, unlike any red roses I've ever seen before. The picture doesn't capture the beauty, but it just makes my heart sing when Kenny does cute stuff like this. He is such a good husband!