Back to Reality

Not that a 4 day vacation is long or anything, but these last 4 days have been non-working bliss. I have been busy busy busy as usual with Kenny and Carson and the dog and family and driving and visiting plus normal things like cleaning, laundry (neverending) and Christmas decorating. But it's been a fairly peaceful 4 days, unlike the next 4. Nothing at work is peaceful. Ever. No moments to compose my thinking or to process anything, no time to "take 5" or even eat lunch without getting up from my desk. That's what I have such a hard time with when I'm at work. I need a break, just 10 minutes here and there, and when I don't get that little mental break, I become system overload, which is how I am living Monday through Fridays now. It's been like this for a while, it's just that this year, it's worse. Amidst all my students who are vibrant and smart, I just need to come up for air sometimes. 4 days off helped me refocus what's important (go to work, earn a paycheck, spend every spare moment making my boys smile) and think about things in better light, however, I would still like a mental break every day. Do you think Santa will bring me that all wrapped up in a nice little package under the tree this year?? I would also be satisfied with a winning lottery ticket.

On to cuter subjects....the baby. Oh yes, I can't write an entire blog post without mentioning him!! He is just the light of our lives. Carson's first Christmas pictures ever:

Black Friday

Carson's first Thanksgiving was fun. We arrived at my inlaws 20 minutes before eating and I didn't have to bring a thing. Don't think I didn't ask, because I did several times, and I was told to just bring the baby. So we did. Today we are going to my mom's for dinner and then to my dad's to visit. Enough eating already!! Put that food away!!

While we had dinner yesterday Carson hung out in the exersaucer right at the table with us. It was adorable! Kenny and I had a nice relaxing night last night putting up the tree and watching TV and just being us. What a great day. And so MUCH to be thankful for.

I'm listening to the sounds of Kenny faintly snoring, Carson talking and cooing to himself, BabyEinstein on the TV and the dryer. I smell coffee and the dog is sleeping at my feet. Ah to be at home in the mornings. My favorite part of the day!! When I leave for work every morning my heart is heavy and I have to fight the urge to call in sick and stay home with my boys, EVERY SINGLE DAY. I would give anything to be here with them. And then I have to remember that I'm providing my family with things even though I am not home, and I also have to remember to be thankful that I have a job with good health benefits and a retirement plan and Aflac and all that stuff. That's what keeps me from turning around every morning, and believe me, I'm SO thankful for all that. But nothing beats the sounds and smells of my house in the morning. That is heaven!

Oh yeah, and you won't find me anywhere near a shopping plaza today!!!!! NOOOOO WAY!!!

Short Week:)

Can you tell he's the happiest baby ever?? I just eat those smiles and giggles and laugh attacks up!! He is so precious!!

He WAS 4 months, now it's more like 4 3/4 I think. I'm slacking on this blog, I know it, but I have full intentions of getting back to a more regular posting schedule. And I have SO MUCH blog reading to catch up on too. Over this short vacation I will be doing just that!

The last couple of weeks have been difficult at work. I can't remember if I mentioned it before or not that 15 teachers were let go due to budget problems. It stinks for those teachers and it stinks for the teachers who are left to clean up the mess, as in expand class sizes to large numbers. Not fun. And those poor kids who come to school one day and find out their teacher is gone. It was hard to explain to my new students where their old teachers were and of course there were many tears and I just wanted to join in. All in all it was a crappy time, probably the worst I've even been through in my almost-8 years of teaching. If you are thinking about going into teaching, THINK AGAIN. Not a good time for it. I'll leave it at that!

Kenny has talked me into putting up the tree today, when I get home from work. How I'm going to do that with Mr. Carson?? Not sure yet, we'll figure it out. Usually I make Kenny wait until after Thanksgiving to put up and decorate the tree. He claims that since he is going hunting Friday, he wants to do it now. Whatever. Gets it out of the way for me!! Our biggest challenge is figuring out what to do with all the baby contraptions in the livingroom with the tree in here too. It's going to be tight.

Kenny has been hunting a lot in the last few weeks. He's actually already got 2 deer and we are going to have summer sausage and beef jerky very soon!! He wants to go for one more (sorry to all the non-hunters) so our freezer will be stocked all winter. He always says as he's leaving for huntin' camp, "I'm off to get our winter food!" What a crack up he is!

I'm off to work now. It's my last day with students this week and then a PD day tomorrow. I'm so happy and THANKFUL this is a short week!

Oh I'm so behind in blogging. I have so much to write too. Good stuff. Fun stuff. Maybe tomorrow. Until then.................

H1N1 Vaccine Update

If you read my post yesterday, you know I went in to get the nasal mist....ended up getting the actual shot and the only side effect was extreme fatigue. I usually react badly to flu shots, I get a slight fever and body aches, head aches, that kind of thing. This shot hurt worse to get it than the regular flu shot, however, my arm never once was sore and still isn't 24 hours later. There was nothing to it. I hope this helps someone in their decision making as to get the shot or not if you have it available. I feel relief. I am a carrier of sicknesses to my house because I'm a teacher. I'm constantly washing hands and when I get home I actually strip my clothes and shoes (kids' bathrooms....nasty!!!) and wash my hands before I even enter the room where Kenny or Carson is. I just can't take those risks with either of my boys, Carson being 4 months old and Kenny a severe asthmatic. I'm sure it's new mommy syndrome being so worried, but I'd rather be safe than sorry!!

Busy

Oh the business around here. I haven't been able to sit down and do my normal weekly post with pics until now because Kenny didn't go hunting this weekend. I know it sounds crazy, but I actually can get MORE on weekends when it's just Carson and I. When Kenny's here, he pulls me in every direction possible and we end up being gone all day or something...I think he's more high maintenance than the baby!! But I love it, I admit!

Since next weekend is opening gun season, Kenny will be gone, so we took advantage of him being here yesterday and went shopping together. We left Carson with Grandma and spent 3 hours together, just us. I'm still so torn about doing that because I'm at work every day and when I come home, it's all Carson time. The weekends are the same way. I SOO look forward to and enjoy every single uninterrupted moment with him on the weekends, so getting me to leave without him was hard. But we needed it for ourselves, so we went. We had a blast and Kenny bought all his new essential hunting gear!! Of course we bought Carson some baby camo stuff. As if he doesn't have enough already, but it's just so cute we couldn't resist!

I'm going to get the H1N1 vaccination today, the mist. I'm not elligible ANYWHERE at the locations in my county to get the shot, so this is what I've decided to do. Believe me, I've researched and read and talked to dozens of people about this. Because the baby is so young, it would be so dangerous if he got the flu, and since I work with kids and will most likely come into contact with it there, I'm the most likely person to pass it to the baby or Kenny. So after researching all my options, I decided to get it today. I'm curious what other people are doing, so could you leave a comment and let me know?

I have completed about half my Christmas shopping....I'm so PROUD of myself for that!! I have done lots of online shopping, and I think a couple more shopping sprees and I'll be finished. That makes me feel like I'm ahead of the game, but I'm sure many of you are already FINISHED at this point! We decided not to buy Carson much because we know everyone else will be buying him things and it's not like he knows what Christmas is this year. But of course, I've snuck in some toys here and there....how can I not?? It's so much fun to shop for him!!

I just realized that Carson is NOT smiling in any of these pictures....I promise he smiles all the time!! He was just being a serious baby!!

Happy Halloween!!!

I am a hunter's widow this weekend again. Soooooo I got to hog Carson and love and kiss on him without interruptions all day today!! I decided not to pass out candy at our house because I was by myself, so I suited up my little tiger, put the dog in the backseat next to the carseat and drove to my inlaws. Carson was the cutest tiger I've ever seen!!! We had a good time over there and I got to see some of the neighbors and their kiddos too. It was a great first Halloween for Carson!!! If Halloween was this fun the first time around as a momma, I can only imagine what's in store for the next one!! Happy Halloween!

Best Weekend

Oh what a weekend it's been!!! One of my BFFs flew in from Altanta on Friday and stayed with us. She hadn't met Carson as an outside baby yet (although she was here on my due date but Carson refused to be born on time!!!) so it was exciting!

Here is Bethy spoiling my baby.....

And here are the four of us plus our offspring so far.....

I am so THANKFUL and blessed that I have great friends both close and far. It's true what they say about high school friends: your first friends are your best friends!

Here is Niki playing with the peanut.....

Carson has changed so much in the last week. He is now rolling over and smiling and laughing all the time. He reaches out for his bottle and my hair ALL the time. He is kind of holding his bottle by himself, only when it's almost empty though. He is just growing so quickly!

Here he is rolling over!

No sleep for me!

I should be sleeping but if I don't post now I won't for a few days! I survived parent teacher conferences. Now I have a field trip to the orchard tomorrow and then a fun weekend with one of my BFFs visiting from Georgia. I'm so excited thinking about 33opm tomorrow. No more responsibilities other than my own.....Carson!!!

He started playing in the exersaucer this week. He loves it!!!

This is how he sleeps. He has done this since he was just weeks old. Those hands behind his head....so silly! He reminds me of an old man when I peek in on him sleeping and see this. It still makes me smile every single time!

And this picture is just here because his expression is adorable. And the rattle he's wearing...

Now off to sleep, what few hours I'll be getting!

Pooped

Diaper bag to pack, guest room to clean out, laundry to do, papers to grade (smilies & stickers) conferences tomorrow (longest days of the year), dog to wash, bottles to fill, the list is endless, and I've only just begun. Oh yeah, trash to take out including stinky diapers. Oh my I need a nap. One of my BFFs is coming flying in for the weekend to meet Carson and I can't wait! More updates and pictures tomorrow!

Time with baby

This is one of those BEAUTIFUL Michigan days in the fall that just makes you so thankful for everything. Not that we shouldn't be thankful all the time, but it's days like this that just take your breath away at how beautiful things are. Ahhh.....

See what quality time with my baby does to me?? I'm a super sap!

Kenny is up north hunting again this weekend, so it's just babay & me!!! He went with me to the dentist this morning and what soooo good!

We have lots to do today and I am so happy to be doing them with Carson. I even let the dog sleep with me last night, which is rare. Kenny wants her to sleep on our bed every night, but I veto that quickly....but last night, pup lucked out. She stayed on the bed the WHOLE night. I know shs grateful.

I just talked to Kenny while he was getting ready to go back to the woods and he told me he has a surprise for me for Sweetest Day.....what a hallmark holiday, but hey, I'll take the present! He bought me a card yesterday but forgot to leave it here for me...it's in his truck. What a guy. Sweetest Day, what an excuse to buy something!

I have started making my lists for Christmas presents...it's never too early and as one of my friends reminded me, there's only about 5 paydays left until Christmas. No time like the present. I think I'll be buying things online this year, at least the majority of stuff. Anyway I can minimize bringing home the flu germs, I'm going to try. I'm so worried that Carson will get sick.

Off to do some cleaning and organizing with the baby in tow....when the hubby's away, the wife will clean!!!

Vegas

Our weekend in Las Vegas was good. The first 24 hours I missed Carson, but not the kind of missing that leaves you crippled. The second day, however, I missed him so badly. Our plane ride home was delayed so it made it even worse. We went to Vegas for my hub's BFF's wedding. We bought tickets before the baby was born thinking it would be a nice time to take a "break" and we'd enjoy the time away from the baby. Stupid new parent thinking!! I SOOOO didn't want to leave him. And neither did Kenny, although he didn't whine about it like I did. But our friends flew to MI for our wedding and again this summer around the time Carson was born, so we just had to be there when they got married. It wasn't a Vegas strip wedding, it was at a beauitful country club, outside, perfect weather, gorgeous mountains in the background. It was truly breathtaking! We did have a good time dancing and drinking, and yes I even took part in the drinking!! That felt GREEAAAAAAAAT! Anyway, here are a couple pictures:

And on to the really fun stuff....Carson is three months old! Time is flying and he is growing! What a stud!

(Kenny was playing his hunting game while holding the baby....now that's talent!!)

Work? I'm still adjusting. I am not excited about going to work every day, but once I get there, it's not horrible. I feel like I've been teaching for 20 years already and it's only my 8th year. I don't see myself teaching for a whole career, at least not the way I feel about it now. I still love teaching, but I can feel burnout coming on soon, maybe another year or so. I don't have any other options right now, so I'll just keep on. I am thankful to have a job and health insurance and retirement, so really, no complaints here.

Things with our nanny seem to be working out well. She is flexible and so are we, so far so good! Carson is usually smiling when I get home on her two days a week, which is all I'm concerned with! If he's happy, then I'm happy!

I "think" Kenny is going hunting this weekend which means Carson and I will have lots of relaxation time together. I love that!! I'd rather Kenny be home with us, but I can get lots of stuff done and lots of relaxing in too when he's gone. Maybe this time he'll bring home the winter supply of food!!!

Leaving on a jet plane

Holy cow. BUSY has just been taken to a new level. How do working moms get things done? Whew. Anyway, we are going to Vegas this weekend for a wedding. I was hoping to do a real post before we left, but that's not going to happen. I'm at work sneaking this is and I don't have any pictures or anything here....

Have a great weekend and I'm sure I'll be back on Monday with some stories!

Relaxing...

My first week back in the classroom is over. That, I am thankful for. I survived! So did Kenny. So did Carson, and even the dog did too. It wasn't easy, and I'm not looking forward to next week, however, I have never taken so much pleasure in a weekend as I am right now.

Kenny is up north hunting (he says, "Going to get us some winter food!") Hahaha. I spent the morning helping him pack and then I took the baby to get his 3 month professional pics taken. I even got a shot or two with his Halloween costume on....pricesless!

After the photo shoot session my BFF and I went shopping and had dinner with her hubs. Now I'm home chillaxin with Carson and catching up on the shows I've missed on our DVR. This has been a WONDERFUL Saturday. The only thing missing is Kenny! But I know he is doing what he loves...sitting in a tree listening to nature and breathing fresh air!!!

First Autumn Walk

It's been a rough few days to say the least. I dreaded going back to work every day that it drew closer, but I never imagined how hard it would be when it really happened. I'll spare you the teary details, but I'll just say that it's not fair. And yes, I know life isn't fair. But I can still feel this way. And that's that.

Yesterday was a GORGEOUS autumn day in Michigan, the kind that makes you think about the furnace but you're not quite ready for it. A nice fleece blanket will make it all better. The sun was shining, the air was chilly but smelled so good, like fall!! Ooooh! My favorite time of year. I bundled up the baby and we went for a 2 mile stroll. It was awesome, and here he is all warm and toasty in his stroller as I walked.

The Other Side

I'm going back to work on Monday. Not prepared mentally or physically (LONG days with 1st/2nd graders!!!) to work again not to mention facing the fact of not being with Carson all day. But the fact that I have to face is that I AM going to work and that's just all there is to it. So, who is going to be with my baby?? Grandma O, Grandma L, and we hired a nanny. She will be here 2 days a week for 6 hours.


I used to BE the nanny. When I was in high school I babysat for extra money and in college I did too. Then after I graduated I was a substitute teacher and a nanny for a while. I loved it. The baby I took care of was Carson's age right now, and it was the perfect job for me. Well now I'm on the other side of things, I'm HIRING the nanny. It's such a strange feeling, telling someone how to prepare bottles (she actually already knows because she is extremely experienced with kids/babies) but I told her anyway because it made me feel better! I'm super grateful that my mom and my MIL are also going to be watching Carson on other days when I'm at work and Kenny is downstairs in his office working. That's another thing that I'm thankful for...the fact that Kenny is going to be working at home while our moms and the nanny are here....We really have so much to be thankful for here, and I don't mean to sound whiney or bratty about going back to work. I don't mind working, I would just rather do it from home like my hubby or get to see my baby throughout the day. I would GLADLY trade places with Kenny if I could.

The whole time our nanny was here today listening to me ramble on and on about Carson's day and what his needs are, I know what she was thinking...she was silently rolling her eyes and not really listening to me, just pretending to. She already knows how to take care of babies (as I did at her age) and she could probably figure out where the extra diapers were (as I could have when I was a nanny) and so on. But now, I know why the mom I used to work for spent so much time telling me where things were and explaining baby-related things to me: because she didn't want to leave her baby and go to work and it was her way of keeping one foot in the door when she wasn't there with her baby. It's like this...if I give her instructions, then things will probably get done the way I do them with Carson (and if they don't, no bog deal, but at least let me think they are so I don't feel left out of his happenings every day) and I'll still feel like I'm part of his life when I'm not there.

I know that I'm his momma and that no one can take that away from me. I know that I'm one of millions of moms that has to work outside the house. All this I know. It doesn't change the fact that come Monday morning, when I kiss his cheeks goodbye as he sleeps in his crib, it might just be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And there is nothing in any baby book that prepares me for being on the other side.

11 Weeks

We've been busy. I have probably said it before, but I think I have tendencies to be more busy when I'm not going to work every day versus when I am working. And speaking of work, I go back in a week. Not happy about it. Not sleeping over it. Just not taking it well in general, and that's all I say about it.

Carson is 11 weeks old today! Happy 11 weeks baby! What a joy these 11 weeks have been. Crazy to think how something so little brings so much happiness to your life. Not that we had a shortage before he was born, but he just makes everything that much sweeter.

I spent about 8 hours away from Carson on Saturday working with Kenny and that was the longest I've been away from him. It was hard to concentrate at times, and the 50 minute drive how was excruciating. Then I scooped him from my mom's arms and just loved on him. Working is going to suck:(

Kenny has been super busy with work lately, which is good because it will be an awesome winter because of it! Can you believe I started Christmas shopping? Nutty, eh? I guess it's not so crazy, it's almost October. Kenny and I said we wouldn't buy Carson toys for birthdays and Christmas because we're sure people will be buying those items all the time for him. So far, that's worked. I've bought tons of books, but no toys. Until last week. I was grocery shopping at wallyworld and just happened to "accidentally" stumble upon the Christmas toyland they have going there already. Ooops. I bought some bath toys and a leapfrog brand toy that teaches letter sounds. It's not "really" a toy because there's learning involved. Would you expect less than that from a teacher? Heh. I'll get him books too. And yes, I know he won't know what Christmas is and that he wouldn't even be able to open presents (probably, not really sure though!) so it's a waste, but these are things I would buy for him anyway, I'll just wrap them up and put them under the tree. I'm sure all you moms out there did the same thing on your baby's first Christmas!

Our dog has taken to the baby so well! She loves him, looks for him in the house, and then usually snipes a lick on his face before I can intercept her tongue. That's the only thing that I don't like about her with the baby, the licking! Ew! But guess if Carson doesn't cry, it's okay. I usually take a baby wipe to his face when the dog licks her, but in all honesty, those germs are just going to be there, so oh well. The dog is permanent fixture in this family! She's our "first" baby! I feel like I haven't given her enough attention on the blog lately, so here's some cute pics of her on the boat a couple weekends ago, with her favorite uncle, Al.

I'm off to pick up some things for my grandma, take a walk with the neighbor and our babies in strollers, and then tonight a family dinner to see my cousin who is here visiting. Fun! Have a great week! Here are a few more boat pics.....

S L E E P

I'm getting it. A lot of it. Not bragging, just saying, I'm sleeping over 8 hours a night. I don't know how long this phase will last but I'm not questioning it, just enjoying! Carson started sleeping through the night almost 2 weeks ago. I moved him from the bassinett to the crib and he stopped waking up for a nighttime bottle. Just like that. So he usually falls asleep between 730 and 9pm every night, and wakes up between 7 and 8am. I'm SO loving that!! He's 10 weeks old today (not even a newborn anymore.....OMG!!!) and I have no idea if sleeping through the night is normal for that age or not, but it's happening and I love it! When I start back to work, I hope the phase isn't really a phase, that it's the real thing. I'm assuming my sleep bubble will burst here at some point, but it's nice while it lasts!

Shots & Planners

We survived the two month shots! Carson is in the 70th percentile for height and weight, and he weighs 12 pounds and is 23 1/2 inches long. The pediatrician says he's the strongest baby she's ever seen and is very impressed that he's holding his head up and so active already. Yay! Here he is napping in the boppy, sleeping FINALLY after crying and crying until his tears ran dry after the shots....I gave him a little baby tylenol and it seemed to make him feel better. See his battle wounds?? The yellow bandaids....

I bought a planner today. A PLANNER. I have never really needed one, but seeing as though I am going back to work at the end of the month and Kenny is SUPER busy every single day and even on the weekends, plus appointments and everything else, I broke down and bought a planner. I work with Kenny on the weekends (along with my BFF) so keeping everything straight in my head hasn't been working lately. I forget so much. And Kenny took over my calendar....that's why I forgot to give the dog her heart worm pill....bad mommy! I just can't remember everything!

Here are a couple shots I took recently. I was playing around with the windows vista editing tools and here's what I came up with!

Bye Bye Summer

Summer is always over for teachers when we go back to work a week or so before the students. In my case this year, I'm not going back to work until the end of the month (maternity leave) so summer should technically still be happening for me. Even though I'm still home, it's over. Gone. Done. When we came back from the lake house last night, I felt it. I'm sad because it was a great summer, not in the "went on lots of vacations and relaxed" sense, but the fact that we had Carson and all this time with him has made it one of the best summers ever. He is just the best gift we could have ever received from God! Anyway, I'm thankful for the summer but sad that it's over. I'm sadly counting down the days until I'll have to go back to work. But I'm sure every working momma goes through that. If only it weren't needing that health insurance...but it's the way it has to be!

Carson is 2 months old! Here he is in all his baby glory. Just so cute!

We had our garage sale on Friday and Saturday and moved a TON of Kenny's stuff out. I mean A TON. I'm so proud of him for deciding to get rid of stuff. Even though I hate clutter and don't keep many things that I don't need, I NEVER harp on him or complain about his "stuff." It comes with the territory if you know what I mean and I knew what I was getting into when we bought our house. I had years to adjust to it before we got married, therefore, I never complain about his stuff, I just move it around or try to work around it when I need to. It's part of his job and that's just the way it is. One day, in the future, when we find our dream house, he will have a separate pole barn or garage or just an "out" building to call his own, and that will house all his stuff. But for now, I am just very proud of his attempt and uncluttering and throwing out. He feels like he didn't move much stuff out, but looking at it from my point of view with no attatchment to the stuff, he did an OUTSTANDING job! There is room to breath in the garage now! He kept saying that we needed to make room for the baby's toys for next summer, music to my ears! I am enjoying every single minute of this baby's babiness, but I am also excited thinking about Carson running around the backyard and playing next year. Oh the goosebumps! Love it! Back to the garage sale.....we made a good $750 and we're putting that towards a new digital camcorder. We have been using our digital cameras to take videos of Carson so far, and they have worked just fine, but we're on to bigger and better things now! If any of you have a digital camcorder or any advice about which ones to get or not get, pass it on!

Happy "Back to School" to any of you who are now back to teaching or learning this week!