20 Days and Counting!

(Yes, the onezie says "Dad Won Me On Ebay"....we couldn't resist!!)

I have started an entry SEVERAL times in the last week but a certain little someone (itty bitty little guy who demands food every couple of hours) has seen to it that I do not get computer time in! But he's so worth it. Anyway, I can't believe he'll be 3 weeks old already tomorrow. I feel like I was just wheeled in for that c-section. Ugh.

Anyway, he's still doing wonderfully! He's up every 2-3 hours at night for food and usually goes right back to sleep. He's still sleeping tons during the day but today he was awake and playing for more hours than normal. I'm hoping that means more sleeping hours at night? I'm not counting on it but here's to hoping.

Kenny has been graciously giving me outs every day on my own, and I don't go far, just to Starbucks or Michaels or somewhere to get away for a half hour. Believe me, it's making a WORLD of difference in how I'm handling this new life. I battled depression years ago over a certain incident and they say if you have ever dealt with depression in your life, when you have a baby you are much more prone to post partum depression, more than just the normal baby blues. So Kenny and I have been on the same program to keep me from having that, and I must say we are doing a great job! He has never once mentioned needing a break from either me or Carson, but tonight I have him one and made him go play golf for a little while. When he was pulling out of the driveway I had Carson in his stroller and the dog on her leash and we were just beginning a walk. Kenny drove along side of us for a block and yelled through the window of the truck that everything important in his life was right there on that sidewalk....what a guy! Don't worry, he's not always that sappy, but it's cute when he is!

This week Carson recognized many things....my face, Kenny's voice and I think his face too, he's been smiling a little, not sure if it's gas or what, but I'll take those toothless grins anytime! He's cooing and making lots of movements with his arms and legs and loves to flail around when he's laying on the floor or in his swing. He's an active little dude as he was in my tummy!

I could go on and on about the cuteness, but I'll leave you with pictures....that's all anyone really wants to see anyway, right??

Kisses from Dad

Kisses from Mom

Love from Grandma O

Sounds in my house

I woke up from a nap yesterday to discover Kenny working with Carson in his carseat next to him. It was adorable! Carson is usually awake for a little while each morning and quite active and alert (he was very overdue!!) and this is the show we get every day. Then he goes right back to napping, so far, his favorite pasttime. I love watching his teeny arms and hands wave around. When I look over in the bassinet at night, if I catch him just before he cries to be fed, I'll see an arm or two waving around. What an amazingly sweet picture!

This was this morning, while Kenny was out and about working, Carson and I chilled out on the couch (I was on the couch, not him). He is so content in that bouncy seat and looks all around. It's crazy to think that everything he sees is new to him.

Last night Kenny and I went on a date. My inlaws watched Carson for a couple hours. We went to applebees for dinner and it was so much fun, of course we talked about the baby the whole time, but also how our lives have changed and how we are so happy to be parents and loving this little guy. And get this....I missed Carson a lot, and I asked Kenny if he did, and he said not that much, but guess who called his mom to check on the baby during dinner?? Yup, you guessed right, it wasn't me!

More pics to drool over....

He has discovered his fingers already!!

New Mommyville 101

Am I ever learning! And crying! And laughing! And loving! And thankful every single day for this new little person in our lives. I am exhausted, but not because I don't have the opportunity to sleep, I have it, right after Carson eats he goes back to sleep at night, but I can't sleep. I'm so tired and I lay in bed and only half sleep. Not the restful kind, the worrisome kind that makes me constantly check on the baby. Then I nestle back into the crook of Kenny's arm and pray to sleep, and it just doesn't happen. Speaking of the crook of Kenny's arm, I haven't been in it for almost 9 months because I was pregnant and had to sleep with a body pillow, which eliminated any change of making it into that crook. But I'm back. And loving it!

I've had some funny funny moments lately. Yesterday I spent the day with Kenny (and I had the baby with me of course). I needed to be out of the house (going STIR CRAZY) working....I basically just put the baby in the stroller and was with him, sitting most of the time while people cooed over how cute the baby is. Then we went out to lunch with one of his coworkers, then to the baby's check-up, and then to Costco. This is when I lost it. I was feeding Carson his bottle in the back of the truck while Kenny went to get a cart. When he came back, Carson had projectile vomitted all over me and I was balling. He momentarily cried, but I wailed. Kenny thought something was wrong with the baby, but it was me that needed comforting. I lost it for a couple of minutes. I just needed a break for a minute. So after Costco, Kenny insisted that I go to the bookstore and get a coffee and read People cover to cover. And I did. I cried the whole way there and after 50 minutes, I felt guilty for being away from my boys and made a mad dash home and cried when I got home because I missed them so much. Then I felt like normal again. FINALLY. Kenny and I got a little bit of alone time then, which I'm really missing right now, and things were better. Whew! I'm starting to get the hang of this! Go to flickr on the sidebar for some new pictures. He is adorable!!

Labor Story

I'm still in the hospital, we are getting discharged tomorrow. And I'm so ready to go home. I haven't been in my own house since we got home from the fireworks on the 4th, slept for 2 hours, and my water broke. Which reminds me to tell you the labor story. My water broke at 330am on Sunday morning. I called the doctor, she said since I was dialated at a 1 a few days prior, take my time, shower, eat breakfast, and then come in. We were there in an hour and we truly did take our time. I had contractions right away, they hurt a lot, but I was breathing through them and focusing and I knew I was going to have this baby the natural way, no epidural! By the time we got through triage and into our labor and delivery room, the contractions were 2 mintues apart and had me almost on my knees in tears and screaming with pain. That was about 630am. So I asked for an epidural, and I got one within the hour. That meant that I had to labor in bed though, no hottub or showers. I was bummed, but at the same time RELIEVED that the worst pain I had ever felt in my life wasn't happening. So I labored through the "easy" contractions and as the day progressed, I labored through the painful ones, ones that felt nearly as bad as the contractions I had before the epidural. I was continously dialating, but very slowly. By 2pm, my OB mentioned the word c-section and I very promptly told her that wasn't an option, that I was going to vaginally deliver this baby, I could be patient and take the contractions as they came, I was prepared to be in labor for as long as it took. By 10pm, after major pain even with the epidural, I was dialated between an 8 and 9 and I was feeling the pressure "in your bottom" that I had been told was the pressure that meant pushing was close! The nurse told me it would be about an hour before I could start pushing. I knew I could hang in there, especially with the end in sight! I got that extra burst of energy despite being completely exhausted and I felt like I was rejuvinated with the nurse's comments of pushing soon. Then the doctor came in and changed all my positive thinking. I admit that I was super tired and worn, I admit that I was in pain even with the epi, but I was not going to give up or give in, and when the doctor said I had been in labor too long and that she strongly recommends a c-section, I completely lost it. I have never been so upset in my whole life, and even thinking about it now, I get upset all over again. She said it was my choice, but I truly felt like I didn't have one. I swore up and down and screamed that I hadn't gone almost 2 weeks past my due date and labored for 20 hours to get this close and then be told that a c-section was needed. The baby was not in distress and neither was I. Both of us were continually monitored on the screens all day, so they knew we were both fine. I threw a fit and was left alone with my mom and Kenny to cry it out. Kenny was sick of seeing me in pain and wanted me to have the c-section, he couldn't take it anymore and wanted it to be over. I was crushed. I didn't want to have a major surgery, especially in that situation, and that's what I got. I have never cried harder in my life as they prepped me for surgery. I was shaking and couldn't stop the weeping. I was resentful towards the doctor and scared shitless of being sliced open after having seen c-sections and hearing my friends talk about the healing process and how painful it was. I have to honestly say that that was the lowest feeling I have ever experienced in my life during those moments. Kenny kept reminding me that we would have our baby in a few minutes and it would all be over, all the stresses of being overdue on my body would be gone, the pain of labor and contractions would be gone. I knew that was true, but I was still not thinking clearly......pain killers and major surgery will do that to you! So I kissed my mom and they wheeled my balling body into the OR, a place I NEVER want to see again. I cried through the whole surgery, even with Kenny right there by my side. Then came the baby, what the goal was all day, to have our son in our arms. I heard his teeny little cry before they lifted him out of my stomach at 12:35am. Then all of a sudden the doctor was holding his little body up so we could see the first glimpse of our baby, at last. Kenny was in shock and awe, he was SO HAPPY. I was happy that the baby was out, but still focused on the fact that I was cut open and 45 minutes from being put back together. Kenny took pictures of the baby and I cried, from happiness of the baby, exhaustion, anxiety, and still anger of the surgery. I remember every single second of the c-section, even when I try not to remember. In recovery I saw Kenny and my mom and the baby, who was wide awake, in his bassinet next to me. I just kept looking at him and crying and I was still shaking from the drugs from surgery. I got to feed Carson right away, which felt strange and wonderful all at the same time. It hadn't set in yet that he was really our baby. After a long time in recovery, my mom went home and it was just Kenny and I. I remember getting sick a few times, and then they wheeled us to the mother/baby unit. We had barely slept in 2 days, plus I wasn't able to breastfeed yet, so the baby went to the nursery and I think we fell asleep from exhaustion around 6am Monday morning. I woke up first around 8am, still groggy and very swollen and just feeling wierd. Kenny woke up a little while later and I have never seen him so happy. He started talking about what an awesome experience it was to see Carson for the first time and how he never could have imagined how it would feel, but it was the best feeling in the world. It was amazing to hear him babble on about watching his son being born, and then he told me how worried and scared he was watching me in labor and surgery, and how proud he was of me for going through it all and how THANKFUL he was that I did it for our baby. What a moment that was. And then he told me that before our parents arrived he wanted to get me into a wheel chair and outside into the sunshine because I needed to get out of the hospital setting for a moment, which of course he was right! So he took me (after the nurses put me in the chair and got me the IV pole and all that stuff) and we went outside to the courtyard in the sun. I will never forget that as long as I live. We just kept saying over and over again how awesome it was that Carson was here and even though he didn't get here the way we had hoped, it didn't matter because he was healthy and I was too. It was one of those moments in life that make you forget about all the bad stuff and really just take it all in. Then our parents started to arrive to meet the baby (my mom had already met him when he was born) and I got some more doses of pain killers so I was blurry the rest of the day. Kenny stayed in the hospital with me until yesterday and he went home to get the house ready and grocery shop and get some work done before we come home Thursday. Carson is perfect. He is cute and sweet and smells good and I absolutly get it when people say you fall in love instantly. You really do! I still have lots of bad feelings about having the c-section, and even though it was probably the right decision, it was not an easy moment to get through and thinking about it, I get upset all over again. But it brought Carson into this world safely and he wasn't in distress and just needed to get here, so it was the right thing to do, and for that, I would do it all over again! My mom emailed me my baby picture.....now compare it to Carson's baby picture....see any resemblance??? Look at the chins!

Here's the Baby

Carson Riley Alan

Born 7/6/09

8 lbs 1 oz

20 inches

iiiiiiiin labor

My water broke at330am this morning! I took a shower and Kenny put our stuff in the truck and we were off, VERY excited and thankful that this was going to be over and we would have our baby soon! It's now 1030pm, I've been in labor for almost 20 hours. It has been a long day to say the least, and we dialated to an 8. This baby is so stubborn but I'm just not giving up on vaginal delivery. I WILL push this baby out!

Kenny and myparents and his have been here to support me through this. Hopefully there will be baby news!

41 Weeks and Holding

I never thought I would make it this far. But I have. Doctor's appointment today to check fluids and more gel. Yipeee!

Kenny's Birthday

Dear Kenny,

Happy Happy Happy Birthday to my sweet, cute, adorably (sp?), attentive and very hyper husband. I love you beyond the limit, even (and especially) when you are absolutely crazy. I'm so sorry that we spent 3 hours in the doctor's office today, on your birthday, and then were sent to the hospital for unnecessary testing only to find out that the baby is completely fine, just 5 days overdue. I know you were holding out for our son to be born today, on your birthday, because it would mean that the waiting was over, but alas, he has your dramatic streak, and has decided to stay put until the last possible moment, 42 weeks gestation, which is NEXT Monday (and we are scheduled to be induced Monday evening). I know you are hoping for Tuesday (7-7-09) because that is the dog's birthday, and you will only have to remember one date for the both of them. I know you loved your presents and your chocolatey chocolate cake, and you especially loved the fact that we were together all day driving around just being us. You are my rock, especially lately when I fall apart every day because I'm so swollen and uncomfortable. You have been wonderful to both me and the baby for the last 41 weeks, and I know it's only going to get more exciting. Thank you for coming into my life, brightening it even when I didn't know it could get better, asking me to marry you and making me appreciate life with you every single day. I love you. Happy Birthday.

Love,
Lindsey

I Even Tried Dancing

My friend Niki got married yesterday and had I not been pregnant, I would have been in her wedding. I wasn't sure I would make it to the wedding because you just never know about the timing of baby, so she knew it was possible I wouldn't make it there. Plus with the contractions I've been having, we didn't want to go too far away from the hospital. But Kenny and I ended up making the reception, which then Niki cried when we walked in because she was so happy we were there. I was SO HAPPY we were there. I actually had a hard time yesterday morning not knowing if I was going to get to see one of my BFFs get married....I just had to be there! So we went and had a great time, and, oh yeah, I DANCED. I danced to Thriller (Kenny moonwalked, oh yes, he did, and there was a cowboy hat involved too) and then the hokie pokie, the train, and a few others. I really wanted to dance to Baby Got Back and change the words to Baby Got Out, but you know how it is. Baby is still in tact and happy in my womb. It was fun feeling human again and skaking my bootie last night. It wasn't as fast as I would normally go, but it was still good and made me feel like I ran a marathon anyway. I worked off the wedding cake in no time! I've resigned to begging my baby to make his appearance. If he's happy in there, I'm happy to keep him in there a little longer. I know allowing my body to do its own thing on its own time is the best, so we're still just waiting for junior (we're not naming him Kenny, jr) to be good and ready. Poor Kenny is soooooo frustrated trying to make appointments and work around the fact that he might have to be pulled away any minute. That's one of the many drawbacks for people who run their own business alone. There's no one to pick up the slack or answer the phone when you are away! Not like he can call his boss and say he needs a few days when I have this baby! Thanks for all the well wishes and speedy labor....keep them coming! I'm actually going to work WITH Kenny today, but nothing crazy, I'll be sitting or walking slowly the whole time, it's better than wandering around the yard looking for things to water or allowing the dog to "walk me" around the block!!

Back Home

We went to the doctor's office only to come back home, completely packed for the hospital! Ugh! I am still only 1 cm dialated, however, 50% effaced (sp?) which means the cervix is soft which is GOOD. They did the gel and monitored the baby while I layed there and waited.....I have nothing NICE to say about paper sheets both on top of me and below me. Ew, yuck, gross, hate them OH SO MUCH. Anyway, that monitor on my stomach for 40 minutes made me feel like I have a phobia for enclosed spaces and the room was way too hot, even the doc said it was. I kinda went a little nutty in there, like I was strapped down and couldn't move (I wasn't really strapped to anything, it was strapped to me) but all those things combined make me anxious. Kenny calmed me down by saying hilariously innappropriate things about the G I A N T cotton swabs. You can just imagine. Anyway, we left, and stuck around town for a while because I started having what I am assuming are BH contractions, I have been having them off and on for about 2 weeks, however, now they feel like strong menstrual cramps, but they are not evenly spaced out. There will be a couple, and then nothing for a couple hours. So we waited a couple hours, walked around and came home. Now that I'm home I feel the contractions again, but I am not thinking it's real labor because I can still walk and talk through them. My doctor scheduled me for 1030am Monday morning to get the gel again because she thinks it will take 2 times, plus I'm only 2 days overdue. This might be too much info for my blog, but oh well, it's out there now plus most of you have already been through this!!! So that's the daily update. No baby, he's not quite ready yet, so he's going to cook some more!

Overdue Day 1

Still hanging in here. Funny how the baby tracker in the sidebar begins counting backward now....I guess it keeps track of how many days past my due date I will bake this baby!! I am still scheduled for the NST gel tomorrow afternoon and now I'm getting REALLY nervous. Oh well, nothing I can do but sit and wait. My mom came out today to hang out with me while Kenny and everyone else was busy working out of town for the day. All my BFFs are busy getting ready for Niki's wedding on Saturday, so we called in my mom to babysit me!! She arrived early (I was already napping on the couch though) and then we went to the mall to walk and eat something spicey. I took another nap when we got home because I'm hardly sleeping at all during the night, so day naps are it! Great preparation for being a momma, right?? Now I'm anxiously awaiting Kenny to come home and tell me all about his busy day. Oh yeah, and to bring home MY camera (even though he HAS HIS OWN) so I can take a picture of the beautiful new bookcase my mom just made and delivered into the baby's room this morning. She even inscribed the bottom to the baby....so cute! When I get my hands on my camera, there will be pictures of the new bookcase!!!!

Still no more dialating!!

Last doctor's appointment was today. And after all the false contractions I've had I'm still only dialated 1/2 cm. Can you believe it??? My doc scheduled me for Friday to have a gel put on my cervix to help me dialate more. I have heard this is something that generally works, and in the favor of labor and not leading to C-sections, so I'm good with it. I've also heard a couple of my friends tell me it won't do anything, but it's what my doctor wants to do next, and I trust her, so on with the show! I am still feeling lots of pressure down there and the contractions, although they are hit and miss, no routine to them at all. Today I can add a little cramping to the list. This may be TMI, and maybe you're sick of hearing about baby talk, but it's literally all I can think about!! I'm sure all you mommas know what that's like, right? I'll keep updating every day and hopefully Kenny will be updating from the hospital soon with good baby news! Now I'm going to actually SIT DOWN and not move for once during this pregnancy. I can honestly say that I am going to do that now!!

2 Days Till Due Date!

Still here, still prego. I'm having TONS of braxton hicks contractions, lots of major pressure down there, hoping this means soon I'll have an outside baby!!

I've been waiting to get these pictures taken until my belly was as big as Kenny's belly.....I think I waited too long, however, he IS sucking it in, so don't let him fool you!! This MIGHT be the last prego picture of me...here's to hoping!

New Favorite Thing

This is my absolute FAVORITE wedding picture. We had over 380 pictures taken by the professional photographer, and dozens of pictures taken by family and friends. This one was actually done by the photographer, but it was not a staged picture. He wasn't even able to use his fancy shmancy flashes (our church was really strict with that stuff) so my dress is fuzzy white. But it perfectly captures the moment, an awesome moment in the ceremony that I will never forget. I do remember the whole ceremony, but this moment is the most precious. I'm laughing, Kenny is smiling and the reverand is smiling at both of us. It has that glow. So that's why I love it so much. I had it printed as a 16 X 20, and Kenny had it framed for me and picked it up yesterday. He already put it on the wall in our livingroom, right between two framed hockey pictures. Hehehee....those will be replaced ASAP with newborn pics I'm sure. Our wedding picture did replace the framed picture of Gordie Howe that Kenny had hanging, I feel very privileged! I was so excited when he brought this home yesterday and hung it up....my goal was for it to be on the wall before the arrival of the baby and it is! Yay!

GOOD News

My Wednesday doctor's appointment was the best yet. There is progress, but it hurt like crazy to find out just how LITTLE progress there was. Let's just say that to find out I was 1/2 cm dialated, I had to grasp the edge of the table and scream in pain. That stinker is still all the way up in my ribcage, not really wanting to make an appearance yet. Anyway, the good news is those little twinges I felt last week were contractions, not much to speak of, but hey, there's progress being made. I'm due the 24th, and my next appointment (and last for my regular OBs office) is Tuesday. If they find no more substantial progression by Tuesday, I'm going to the hospital on Friday the 26th to get the gel put on my cervix. I'm sure plans change and it's all on baby time, but for the moment, I'm not feeling any closer to labor physically or mentally and so I'm counting on some kind of action maybe by NEXT weekend. That's the deal for now! Everything is good, my bp, my heart beat, his heart beat, his movements, it's all good!

Here are some pictures of how I decorated his room this week. I really didn't want to spend a bundle of dollars on stuff he won't even enjoy right now, so I used fabric (blue stars) and stretched it across 4 canvases. I found some cute (but not too baby-ish) appliques and sewed them onto the fabric (before I stretched it on the canvas) and here ya go!

I think they turned out so cute! And they aren't too baby-ish or nursery-ish. I have some really nice black picture frames with white mattes already in place to hang on the blue wall on either side of the window after we take some newborn pictures. I couldn't think of anything else to hang up there, so photographs win! That will just have to wait till he arrives. The rest of the room is put together, the swing and bassinett won't be in here for long I bet.

My mom is finishing a tall bookcase she made that will go next to the green dresser, complete with baskets and goodies to fill the shelves. We are getting an antique rocking chair reupholstered to put in front of the window, that will be here in July. Nothing like procrastinating on that, right? We have another rocking chair and my rocking leather recliner in the livingroom to keep me happy until the antique one is done. And that's about it! His room isn't themed out, it's just bits and pieces of cute things. Easily changeable when I get bored!

I also wanted to share pictures of some gifts I have gotten that are just awesome.

This rocking chair was Kenny's when he was a kid, his mom saved it and gave it to us a couple months ago. See the blue blanket on the left? That's a Detroit Tigers blanket from Tasha! So is the baby cap on the bear in the middle, it has Detroit Tigers all over it. She sure knows my taste!

This ADORABLE little man outfit was a gift from fellow blogger Tana. My son will FOR SURE be getting professional pictures taken in this. Look at that hat!!

And the ABC lamp and picture frame was a gift from Kenny. He bought it somewhere during the winter and I think it was the first thing he ever bought his son.....true love! We have received so many wonderful, thoughtful gifts for this baby. We are blessed!

Now I'm off to have dinner with one of my BFFs for her birthday! Max & Erma's....yummy! And probably heartburn city, but it's worth it:)

Chillin' at home

Our neighbor gave Kenny these gorgeous roses from her front yard yesterday to give to me....she felt bad that I hadn't "dropped down" yet and thought I needed some cheering up. She must have caught a glimpse of me waddling around.

Wasn't that sweet? And these flowers are beautiful and the smell, OMG our whole house smells so good! Nothing like hand-picked, home grown roses! Complete with thorns and all!

I spent the day at home and it rocked. I cleaned out 3 closets, and I mean CLEANED THEM OUT. I also took a couple naps in between and sat down for an hour or two with my feet up.

Kenny was gone all day and is coming home to a surprise....he finally has half the closet in our bedroom! I have deprived him of that for the 2 1/2 years we've lived in this house. He always used the closet in the spare bedroom. I evicted him from that closet (and the room too) when we found out we were pregnant. So all his clothes have been in the basement hanging and folded on a table. I gave him space in the closet in our bedroom (it's huge) for his dress clothes, hats, shoes and misc junk that will inevitably end up in there. He is very happy with the rest of his clothes downstairs, and so am I because when they come out of the dryer I don't have to carry them upstairs!

Tomorrow morning I'm back to the OB for my weekly check-in and maybe there will be some dialating! Here's to hoping!

Calm before the storm (the good storm)

Done. Officially. We had to report to work today for four hours and the school year is finally over. Thank goodness! I came home and Kenny and I went to my fetal maternal ultrasound appointment, the one I was talking about the other day. I know the u/s technicians can't tell you much, but she said he was for sure head down and even facing the correct way, which meant no cute pictures because he was facing away, but I'm cool with no pics if it means he is in position for labor. Anyway, more importantly, his weight is approximately 8 pounds, absolutely perfect, my amniotic fluid is fine, and all the measurements she took and announced to us were fine. So far so good. I have my regular weekly appointment Wednesday morning and if there's anything else they will tell me then. I'm hoping it all comes back normal, I think it will. Kenny is still convinced it was a money thing to send me for one last big ultrasound before I deliver, just to hit that insurance another time. Maybe he's right?

Here's the latest prego pic.....taken this morning.

38 weeks and 4 days. My symptoms at this point are VERY swollen feet and ankles, possibly swollen calves all the way up to my knees, swollen hands and the lower parts of my arms. Thankfully, nothing else is swollen except my belly. This "water weight" stuff ain't fun, but I know it will lead to good things.....baby!! Add to the list severe heartburn, and yes I know that means lots of hair but I was bald until I was 1, so who knows? Kenny is sick of me talking about pregnancy and all the ooohhhs and ahhhs, but he is dealing with it. I have exactly one outfit that is still comfortable to wear and fits.....it's the all black one in the outfit pictured above, so that's probably all I will wear outside of the house till this boy arrives!

Yesterday some of my family came to visit. They brought my Grandma and I made strawberry shortcake and suntea, my cousins played with the dog, the weather was beautiful and warm and it was a fun time. My grandma is excited about becoming a great-grandmother and my aunts and uncles are excited about being "great" aunts and uncles, although one particular uncle said that the baby doesn't have to call him "great uncle J." Just "Uncle J" will work, he says. Cute? Yes. Yesterday was an awesome day.

I'm looking forward to my last big cleanout obsession this week, including but not limited to closets, my area in the basement, and sorting through clothing. It's how I handle everything, it's my way of having control over something when I'm in a situation I have no control over (giving birth) and just makes me feel better, plus the added bonus is things get thrown out (YAY!!) and are generally cleaner for a while. Kenny can't stand these cleanouts, but I think he secretly gets motivated to do the same thing, but he would never admit to it. If you are looking for me tomorrow, I hope to be closet cleaning!!!!

My post title is how I really feel right now. I'm calm, the house is calm, Kenny is busy but calm, even the dog is calm, and I know REAL soon there will be this amazing new addition to our tiny family that will throw us all into a marvelous new chaotic loving craze. Bring it on! In the meantime, I'll enjoy the calm while I can.

Another School Year Over

(This picture has nothing to do with this entry, I just wanted to include it because it's one of my favorite pictures of us....we were up north about 4 years ago staying on our friend's sailboat for the 4th of July, and I just love it!)

All I can say is I made it through the year still pregnant and thank goodness it's over. Yesterday was the LONGEST last day of school ever. I didn't get a break for lunch or when the kids when to their elective....another multi-age teacher wanted to include my class with his pizza party and ice cream party, which happened to be during our lunch time, but meant we had to have the party in our classrooms, which meant no break. The party lasted a long time, erasing any time the kids would have spent in their elective and giving me a break. So I went from 755am to 330pm with the kids without a break. It was so crazy. I even had to take them to the bathroom with me about 6 times and make them wait out in the hallway while I used the bathroom because my parapro was subbing and I literally had NO ONE to relieve me. And the kids continued to tattle on each other and call my name and ask questions WHILE I WAS PEEING. OMG was I tired. When I got home I literally crashed on the couch until 7pm. The Wings game was on at 8pm and Kenny's buddy was coming over, so I woke up at 7pm, dragged myself off the couch and tidied up a little. Then I sat back down on the couch and realized how messy the livingroom was. I said something about it (usually I just pick it up because if I don't it doesn't get done) and Kenny cleaned the whole livingroom, vacuuming included. I mean he dusted, vacuumed, AND put stuff away. I was floored! And thankful! I think he's finally taking pity on my low energy level and tiredness! It was great! It did feel wierd to be sitting on my ass while someone else cleaned up, I'm not used to that at all! Not complaining though!

I'm now 38 weeks 2 days, and feeling especially huge. Every time I eat anything, I feel like a tubbo and icky, but Tasha has reassured me that that's normal and others have too, so I am just giving in to feeling like that. Ugh. My doctor's appointment this week left me feeling anxious. The doctor (not one of my normal docs) told me she wasn't sure the baby was of a good size (not big enough) and is sending me for another fetal ultrasound on Monday. Then my regular doctors appointment is Wednesday so that's when I'll know how big or small this baby is. I can't imagine producing anything small, especially given Kenny's family history of huge babies. My brother and I were small and average sizes, but even though I haven't gained a ton of weight for this pregnancy, I'm not small by any means. So I've had several days to think about this and the anxiety has settled for the most part. But I'm still somewhat worried. I'm sure it will all be okay, I do hear about women being alarmed in late stages of pregnancy and all ends up being fine with a nice healthy baby, so that's what I'm hoping for.

Off to a bachelorette party tonight, or just the dinner for me, I'll be skipping the bar outting afterwards. I'm excited to go out with the ladies!! I know it will be one of my last for a little while.

I am typing on my new computer! Our internet service people came this morning and put in the wireless router and I'm online on my new laptop! Yay!!! I have some work to do figuring out how to use Windows Vista and how to find different things on this computer that aren't in the same place as my old one. I will be calling Niki constantly to ask her where things are...she won't care though. I feel so spoiled sitting at my coffee table with my laptop!

I did get some down time today, time to just relax and chill and think about the fact that I'm not going to teach on Monday. I still have to go to work on Monday for four hours, just for meetings (probably goofy ones), but I don't have to be "on" or responsible or anything. Woo-hoo! Just in time for this baby!

Boogers

I survived day #2 of my last week of teaching this school year. I'm not kidding, it's a hard week to get through. The kids are crazy, and mentally DONE, the teachers are expected to do a ton of things that are out of the ordinary which makes the kids even crazier....award ceremonies, field trips, inventory lists, lunch counts, student files, report cards, exit interviews, the list goes on, but on top of all that, it's glorified daycare every day. There are so many interruptions that I can't even get through any lessons, and they aren't really lessons anyways. They are more like review packets. Busy work. Ugh. I would rather it be a regular teaching week instead of this! I can say that I will honestly miss my students over the summer time though, they are a pretty entertaining group!

This will be the last gross story of the school year because I don't think it gets any GROSSER than this. And to those of you who I emailed this to yesterday, sorry, but it's so blog worthy!

My most "difficult" student (putting it mildly) was getting in line to go to drama class. I was standing next to the line waiting for them get themselves together to walk across the hall and I actually witnessed this young man DIG up his nose and then wipe the biggest booger I've ever seen across my homework poster. I couldn't even believe what I saw. It was SO GROSS. I wanted to scream but I didn't. I just kept thinking, "if that was my kid...." I waited until the class had walked across the hallway and then called him back into the room. I asked him what he just wiped on my poster and he lied and said nothing. I asked him the same question about 5 times and finally I asked him if he wiped his boogers on my poster and he fessed up. I made him scrub it with soap and water (the poster is laminated). He obviously lost recess today for it and asked me why he lost recess. Huh. I reminded him and then he fell silent. While the kids were out at recess, he came up to me and asked me AGAIN if he could play and why he lost recess. I asked him if he has ever picked his boogers and wiped them across his mother's clean kitchen counter. He answered "no" as if I was nuts, and then I asked him why in the world he needed to smear them on my poster. No answer. I think I made my point. You can think I'm mean all you want, but seriously, I think he got off easy. That was DISGUSTING!

I'll leave you with cute pictures. No grossness here!!!

Monday

That's the only title I can think of for this post. I have tons of things to say....and pictures too!

Last week Kenny and I took the dog to a park we discovered by accident. It was gorgeous, nice weather, and the dog was in her glory. We stopped to get a drink at the drinking fountain and this is what happened.....

Good thing no one was around to report her! She kept drinking and drinking, and then this happened.....

This was totally UNPROVOKED, I promise! Usually Kenny gets her to do silly things all the time, but this time? She did it on her own!!! How cute is that??

My friend Niki is getting married in a couple weeks, actually I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, but a certain pregnancy kept me from being in it....hmmm.....bad timing? I think so! Anyway, here's a couple pictures of us from her shower. This is most of her wedding party and 2 of our other BFFs from high school (and before). We had a great time! And I'm so happy for her and her man Joe to finally be tying the knot!!! It's been a long time coming and planning!

Here's a couple picture of me and my mom at her shower. I was exactly 36 weeks pregnant, showing much?????

Here I am at 36w4d pregnant. See how much I'm popping out every single day? Just when I think I can't get any bigger, I do. I'm going to stop saying that now, because it always leads to MORE growth!

Today one of the security guards saw me coming down the hallway and he says, "Give her room!" and then told me I had my waddle down perfectly. It was said in all good humor!! ONly 4 more days of school. I CAN'T WAIT!

5 More Days

Oh the last days of the school year are always so long and draining! I still have 5 more days with the kids next week. It's hard to believe, and by that I mean that the school year isn't over yet. It just seems to be dragging out so long! Today our kids are going on a field trip and because I'm 9 months pregnant, I'm staying behind with the kids who aren't going, either due to behavior issues or financial issues. There probably won't be many of them that come to school if they aren't going on the trip, but nonetheless, that makes my room the dumping grounds for behavior issues, ohh goody, I can't wait! I have my momma voice all prepared for whatever lies ahead, along with packets of work and a couple time out areas ready! Hopefully, I won't have to use any of those things and the kids will be well behaved because they are sad they are missing out on the big trip. We'll see!

Allergy season is here, and I'm suffering this year. It's not pretty every morning! My eyes are so swollen (maybe that's a prego symptom, I'm not quite sure) when I wake up that I don't even want to look in the mirror!

Good news! My new laptop is here! Bad news, I have no idea how to use it or even set up the internet, so I'm not exactly on it yet. But I will be soon!! I'm so excited to use it! My very OWN computer (again) that no one (Kenny) can use! I tried to hide the fedex box when it was delivered the other day but no such luck. I had my mom tell Kenny over the phone that it was MY computer, not for him, his business, his work, or anything else. He just pouted. I'm not being a mean wife, you have to understand that Kenny has his own computer, and he has now taken over mine too, which is why my mom decided to buy me a laptop for graduation, so I could hide it so it wouldn't get taken over! I really do share everything with Kenny, except that. All mine!

My weekly appointment yesterday left me frustrated. The baby still has not dropped down, leaving me breathless and not sleeping at night still, however, I'm more concerned with going past my due date because Kenny was a 10 pound baby and his dad was 11 pounds. That's scary to me. And the longer the baby cooks in my belly the BIGGER he will be. Yikes. So I'm hoping for him to drop down into place SOON. I'll have pictures on the next post, hopefully from my laptop! Happy Friday!

For Real???

Are you kidding? This is something Kenny and I spotted last week as we drove around our neighborhood on a nice Sunday afternoon. The PLASTIC green pots are ZIP-TIED to the tree. It was so ridiculus looking that I had to snap a picture. I still can't even believe they did this, but they did. They are the same people who last summer I witnessed them yelling at their next door neighbors for ruining their hostas. The real situation was that their neighbor (a dad) was playing catch with his very young children, overthrew the ball, and both kids trampled over their property line and through the hostas to the ball. Not that big of a deal, the plants weren't really ruined, but these people thought it was the end of the world. I was walking the dog at the time they happened to be arguing about it so I got the whole scoop. So this is their next move, to zip tied plastic (not even nice looking pots!!) to their tree, in case the little kids next door are around. Uh! Thank goodness they are not our neighbors. They would HATE with a capital H living next door to us.

Graduation

FINALLY I can post about my masters graduation.....that happened 8 days ago! Whew!

I started my masters degree program in 2005. It was a distance learning program, where you are placed in a group of currently teaching teachers that are within 25 miles of you, and then you meet twice a month to discuss questions (on tape to send in for your group grade) and then at home you do most of the work, in the form of essays. It's basically ALL WRITING, which I've heard is the norm for most masters level classes, no matter what area your degree is in. This program is 5 semesters long, about 18 months, and I dropped out after 4 semesters because I thought getting my masters degree MIGHT hinder getting into a public school teaching position. Huh. I was wrong for several reasons, the biggest reason being that THERE AREN'T PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHING POSITIONS AVAILABLE. Anywhere. So I "sat out" of the program until 2 girls I work with were ready to begin their fifth and last semester of the same program, and I joined their group to finish this up and get the raise I had been waiting for. If I'm not getting into a public school anytime soon, might as well get the raise, right?? So that's how I finished my masters degree!

The weather last Saturday started out rainy, you'll see in the pics, but ended up beautiful, couldn't have asked for more! Despite being 8 1/2 months pregnant, not comfortable in the shoes, the LONG processional, the long sitting and waiting period, and the speeches, the ceremony was awesome. I had to pee SO BAD but I held out till the end of the ceremony, I didn't want to miss a thing! My dad and step-mom were there, but they only stayed until I got my degree because they had a wedding to attend, my mom and her friend and of course my inlaws and my cute cute hubby were there! Kenny was SUPER excited because he wasn't around for my high school graduation or when I got my undergrad, so he took a bazillion pictures.

You can see in some pics how prego I am and in other pics the gown hides it, either way, I look huge, but ask me how much I care because I got through the ceremony without going into labor AND I make more $$$ now, so it was all worth it!!

It was for sure one of those days that goes down in history as GREAT!

Quick Update

Funny Things Said In My Classroom Today

• How do you spell MANURE?
• Is it mismatch day (this was said TO ME because I have on comfy shoes with dress clothes.....shame on me!!)
• ______ won't stop looking at me! (my response was: So look at him back!)
• Which room are you going to live in this summer? (some kids still think teachers live here year round)
• How are you feeling? (asked by an adult, and my response was: Do you really want to know?)

I have graduation pics and prego pics to post and cute little stories for each...just let me get my hands on my own computer and they will be blogged about!! My husband has taken over my computer! My mom bought me a brand new laptop (my first laptop ever) for graduation and it should be delivered very soon, and I can get back to regular blogging, which I miss. Stay tuned for pics!

Grandpa

It's taken me a couple weeks to actually process that my Grandpa passed away. He died peacefully in his sleep on April 27th, he was 93 1/2 years old. My dad called me the afternoon he died (he passed early in the morning) and because my grandparents' minister was out of town on a retreat that weekend, the funeral/memorial service wouldn't be for 2 weekends. He was creamated, so that time span wasn't an issue. I was sad right away, especially thinking of my grandma, they had been married 63 years and were still very much in love. It was common for them to be holding hands several times a day. They were (are) so cute. Anyway, of course I thought about how sad it is to loose a grandparent and how it's even harder to watch the other grandparent try to cope in a world that is lonely to them. It's not easy. The memorial service was this past Saturday and it's then that it hit me how much he is missed. My aunts and uncles had words to say at the service and it was beautiful, and it's obvious just how much they and my dad will miss their father. I miss my grandpa. He was a man of LONG stories that often I didn't know what the moral was, and he was a man of many interests and talents, he was a veteran, a cherished and very involved member of his church including the choir, and he was an all-around family man. My aunts and uncles and my dad ALL have their father's sense of family and have passed that on to their own children and nieces and nephews. The best part of the service was the end, when the choir stood in front of the congregation and sang Amazing Grace. It was truly amazing. And another neat bit of info....when the organ was being played, the baby kicked HARD (and I mean he really whomped me in both sides!!!!). It actually made me move in my seat...Kenny was next to me and he looked at me and mouthed, "What was that??" and I whispered to him, "That was your son kicking his momma....he isn't used to the organ playing....apparently we need to attend church more." When I heard my grandpa had stopped eating a week or so prior to his death (he wasn't sick with cancer or anything, there were several things keeping him from feeling well and I think he was just ready to go) I immediatly became sad because this would have been his first great-grandchild. I kept thinking, just a few more weeks and he'd be able to hold his first great-grandchild. But I know that wasn't in the cards, my grandma will have that distinct honor all to herself (she is my last grandparent) and there's something magical (in a strange way) about the passage of my grandpa and the birth of my baby so close. When I told my friends that my grandpa had died, most of them remembered him at my wedding just one year ago, in his wheelchair, smiling, having a great time, and not wanting to leave the reception to go lay down even though everyone thought he would be tired. He was SO HAPPY I was getting married and he loved getting dressed up and attending formal ceremonies, especially his oldest grandchild's wedding. So there you have it. That was my grandpa.

Almost halfway through the week

Can't wait for the weekends....that's what I keep telling myself EVERY SINGLE MORNING when I drag my ever-expanding body out of bed 30 minutes after the alarm. And I keep repeating that as I take a shower, waddle around the house trying to get ready in adequate time to beat the kids to my classroom door. And then I say that same mantra ALL DAY LONG with my class, who is absolutely driving me nuts 8 hours a day. I'm still only 15 pounds up from pre-pregnancy, and it's still all in my stomach, but it feels like 50. Take a look. I think I was 32w4d when I took them.

And here's a picture of my current child, the 4-legged kind, who has no idea how much her life is going to be disrupted in a few weeks. She's so cute.

I am graduating with my masters degree on Saturday.....I would be so much more excited if the gown I ordered DIDN'T HANG OFF MY SHOULDERS AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A LARGE BLACK COW! I am really happy to be getting this degree and the accompaning raise, however, I'm not excited about how I'll look when handed the diploma. Is that just a girl thing, a prego thing, or am I completely crazy??????

Spring!!

I didn't mean to go SOOO long without posting! Honestly, I thought about it every day last week and just didn't make it to my computer!

Spring has sprung around here! There are buds and blossoms and good smells everywhere. It's beautiful! We were outside with the dog today and here's a 32w3d shot:

8 months pregnant and still not that huge....how long till I pop way out there? That's the question everyone keeps asking. I don't know, but I'm not complaining!

We dogsat last weekend for our friends' 6 year old chocolate lab, Bella. Here are the girls togther, aren't they cute? It was entertaining to say the least. We saw a side of our dog that wasn't so pretty...she is a complete B$&*# when it comes to dinner time. We tried feeding them at the same time and that was not happening. Our dog growled at Bella, so we fed the separately the rest of the weekend. Our dog hasn't been around other dogs during meal times enough to chill out, so it was actually a good practice time for her. We will be working on that! Other than that, the dogs went to the park and had a blast. I actually took them both myself on leashes and walked for almost an hour. They didn't pull my arm out of the sockets or make my back sore, which I actually expected to happen. It was great! Any thoughts of getting a second lab have been squelched though, especially with our baby on his way here and a small house. Too much dog to trip over! It was fun having them together for a few days though.

I woke up this morning with an amazing feeling. My hubs was next to me (doesn't always happen because he works at night) snoozing, our baby was kicking up a frenzy (I LOVE that!!!) and our dog was snoring on my feet. I was completely content, like a really happy scene from a movie. I kept thinking, "This is MY family" and THANK GOD for my blessings. What an amazing feeling. I took Kenny's hand as he slept and put it on my stomach to feel the baby kick, and he actually woke up and said, "WOW!" He's felt the baby kick and move several times, but not when he was that energetic! Feeling him move like that sure makes all the aches and pains of being pregnant worth it. SO very worth it. I have been feeling pretty awesome though, even with little bouts of feeling sick, I can't complain. I'm getting very excited!